For years, I struggled with sleep, not so much falling asleep, but staying asleep. I’d drift off easily, only to wake at 2am… then 3am… then 4am. I’d lie there for hours, frustrated and exhausted, and the next day would feel like moving through wet cement.

At one point, my sleep got so disrupted that I started having auditory hallucinations that were waking me up. One night I shot awake to the sound of the fire alarm blaring in my building. I grabbed my keys and phone, ran downstairs, and realised I was the only one who had evacuated. I could still hear the alarm, loud, urgent, and then suddenly it stopped. The fire panel showed nothing. I had imagined the whole thing. That was the moment I realised just how bad things had got.

And as anyone who’s been chronically tired knows, when your sleep is poor, everything else becomes harder. Eating well, exercising, focusing, even holding a normal conversation, it all feels like too much. Eventually I got tired of being tired, and I made a conscious effort to improve the way I sleep.

The surprising part is that the simple, boring advice you always hear… actually works. These are the things that helped me, and if you’re struggling too, maybe a few of them will help you find a little more rest.

night-time viewing

One of the biggest (and most surprising) shifts for me was realising just how sensitive I am to what I watch at night. I used to think “winding down” meant putting on a show and zoning out, but it turns out my brain doesn’t zone out, it latches on. Anything emotionally charged, fast‑paced, or even mildly stressful sticks with me long after I’ve turned the TV off. I don’t just watch it; I absorb it.

If I watch something intense, it shows up in my dreams or keeps my mind buzzing for hours. After an evening binge of The Pitt, I dreamt I was working triage in an emergency department — alarms, chaos, people rushing in with everything from dislocated fingers to cardiac arrests. Technically I was asleep, but it was the opposite of restful.

And then there’s short‑form content. Reels, TikToks, YouTube Shorts. The constant topic switching is way too stimulating for me at night. Every 30 seconds I’m being asked to understand a new situation, form an opinion, react emotionally, and then immediately move on to the next thing. It’s like mental whiplash.

So now I’m much more intentional. Evenings are for gentle, predictable, low‑stakes things — nothing that spikes my heart rate or makes me think too hard. It sounds small, but it’s made a huge difference in how calm my mind feels when I finally get into bed.

limiting devices at night

Another big shift for me was getting honest about how much my phone was affecting my ability to wind down. Like everyone, I thought a quick scroll before lights out was pretty harmless, but really, I was keeping my brain on high alert. Bright light, constant stimulation, the promise of something new and interesting with every thumb swipe. Even when I wasn’t watching anything intense, the sheer act of scrolling kept me wired.

So now I give myself a proper wind‑down window. No scrolling after 9pm. If I read on my phone, it’s in dark mode with the brightness turned way down. My phone doesn’t even come into the bedroom with me anymore. It stays in the living room, charging quietly, far away from my half‑asleep impulse to check one more thing.

It sounds like such a small boundary, but it’s made a huge difference. Without the constant glow and noise of my phone, my mind actually has space to settle. I fall asleep faster. There’s no temptation to check an email at 3:15am. I no longer wake up feeling like my brain has been running a marathon all night.

block it out and plug it up

Across my adult life, I have used eye masks and ear plugs on and off. But now, I honestly don’t know how I would sleep without them.

Light and noise used to pull me out of sleep so easily. A neighbour closing a door, a car driving past, the early‑morning sun sneaking through the blinds. None of it seemed like a big deal at the time, but it all added up to broken, restless nights.

The eye mask was the first game‑changer. I started wearing one when I was younger because I thought they looked cool (because that’s so important). But now it’s beyond essential. There’s something about putting it on that signals to my brain, okay, we’re done for the day now. It blocks out every bit of light, and it makes my sleep feel deeper and more uninterrupted.

I have tried many different styles through my journey, testing different tensions different fabrics, different designs, but the Bodinelia Sleep Eye Mask is my pick. It’s soft, it’s adjustable, and the design sits off the eyes directly so not to interrupt the REM process.

Earplugs were the next step. After living on the busiest road on the Lower North Shore of Sydney, you’d think I might be a little more resilient to street noise. But I need complete silence. I want to feel like I am in an isolation tank. I had been happily using the Uvex x-fit disposable earplugs for years, after I had stolen a box from work, but I have moved to a more sustainable option with the Loop Quiet 2. I have repurchased these, I have given them as gifts, I am beyond impressed.

They’re small things, but together they make my bedroom feel like a little cocoon — dark, quiet, and safe.

the right pillow

My body had always been in decent enough condition that I didn’t really have to worry about what type of mattress or pillow I used. But we get older, we get these little cricks and quirks and suddenly the Ikea pillow that you’ve had for seven years will no longer cut it. I went through a period where I was constantly waking up with a stiff neck, the kind of ache that ruins the next two days.

Another variable I never considered was that being a side sleeper, not all pillows support the body in this position. And in my advancing age (lol), it was time to get serious. I did the grown‑up thing and went hunting for a pillow that actually supported me

This is a pretty bougee purchases, but I splashed out and got the SleepMaker Luxury Graphene Quilt Pillow in a mid profile. $399 is a pretty serious price tag, and I wished I had shopped around because these quite often go on sale. But investing in the things you spend a third of your life lying on has been one of the most practical, immediate improvements to my sleep.

supplement support

At a check-up with my GP, I had spoken about how much trouble I was having with sleep, so she suggested I try some Melatonin.

I had been pretty resistant to any pharmaceutical help when it came to sleep. There are so many stories out there about the crazy things that people have done while taking drugs like Ambien. And those are the people who have lived to tell the tale. Many people become too reliant or immune to it, and some don’t ever wake up. Thankfully, Melatonin isn’t quite so powerful, it’s more of a supplement than a depressant. It’s something we naturally secrete as a part of our circadian rhythm.

What helped most was the sense of routine it created. Taking it signalled to my body that the day was winding down, and that gentle nudge was often enough to help me drift off and stay asleep. It didn’t knock me out or make me groggy the next morning, either. Of course, if this is something you’re considering, speak to your GP about it, Melatonin requires a prescription in Australia.

It wasn’t the only thing that helped, but it played a role in getting me back into a healthier rhythm, especially when everything else felt chaotic.

let’s get physical

One of the most unglamorous but genuinely effective things I’ve learned is that being physically tired makes a huge difference to how well I sleep. It sounds obvious, almost annoyingly so. For a long time I wasn’t moving enough during the day to actually feel ready for rest at night. I’d be mentally exhausted but physically wide awake, which is a terrible combination when you’re trying to fall asleep.

When I was doing 75 Hard, and getting more movement in my day, I noticed the shift almost immediately. Doing two workouts a day will make you tired (obviously). Continuing on with movement each day, even if it’s just a walk in the morning, or a lunch time Pilates class, it all helped burn off that restless energy that used to keep me awake. On days when I’m active, my body feels like it wants to sleep.

Just giving my body a reason to feel pleasantly tired has been one of the simplest, most reliable ways to support better sleep.

set aside worry time during the day

One of the most frustrating parts of struggling with sleep is how your brain suddenly decides that 2am is the perfect moment to bring up every unfinished task, awkward memory, or hypothetical disaster. I am never going to need to know the parking situation of Madison Square Garden when I am lying in my bed.

I could go through an entire day feeling fine, and then the second my head hit the pillow, my mind would start sprinting. It wasn’t just thinking, it was ruminating, looping the same worries over and over. “Why did you eat that extra cookie?”, “Don’t forget to email that person about that thing”, “You haven’t given Harry his parasite medication, he’ll die of a tick bite”.

So I started setting aside “worry time” during the day. Nothing dramatic, just a few minutes to jot down anything that was circling in my mind. Things I needed to do, things I was anxious about, things I didn’t want to forget. Getting it out of my head and onto paper made it feel less urgent, like I’d already acknowledged it and didn’t need to revisit it at 11pm. If I was worried I would forget, I had already written it down, I’ll deal with it tomorrow.

It doesn’t stop every intrusive thought, but it’s helped create a boundary between daytime problem‑solving and nighttime rest. My brain seems to trust that I’ve already dealt with the things that need attention, so it doesn’t have to ambush me the moment I’m trying to fall asleep.

take the pressure

There are still times when my mind will race. But now I have another tool in my arsenal to help, my acupressure mat. It’s such a strange little tool. Basically, a bed of tiny plastic spikes. But it’s become one of my favourite ways to calm down before sleep. The first minute is always a bit uncomfortable, sharp, which is exactly why it works. That physical sensation pulls my attention out of whatever spiral I’m in and anchors me back into my body. It’s hard to ignore.

And then something shifts. After that initial prickly moment, my back gets all warm, the blood rushing to the skin, my muscles soften, and I can feel my whole system down‑regulating. It gets really cosy, and quite relaxing. If someone had suggested it to me, telling me that it helps them relax, I probably would not have taken it seriously. I don’t know what the scientific explanation is, and honestly, I don’t need one. I just know that it helps me quiet my mind enough to drift off.

How I use it, I just lay it down on the bed and lie on it with bare skin. I’m not brave enough to lie on the floor. I still need a little give with the mattress. I like to use the Spoonk Acupressure Mat.

It’s not a nightly ritual, but on the evenings when my thoughts feel too loud or too fast, the mat is one of the quickest ways to bring myself back to a place where sleep feels possible.

There’s a lot here, and I don’t do everything every night. But it shows you how complex sleep can be. You might think you’ve got one thing sorted and then another thing pops up and doesn’t let the sheep into the field.

I know this sounds rich coming from someone who doesn’t have the distraction/responsibility of kids, but you will sleep again. There is help available. It may not look the way you thought it would, you may have to try some things you don’t think will work. But here are some things to try, take what works, leave what doesn’t. And if you come up with anything that’s not listed above, leave it in the comments below.

---

why not join our mailing list?